Obviously, the cost of gas here in small town America has gotten quite outrageous and in true form, people have had to make adjustments.
It used to be that bumming a ride to school with that kid from science class was easy. Just ask, while flipping my hair back, and leaning over his desk. I win, no questions asked
However, the situation has become quite different.
"Hey, Scott, could I get a ride home today?" I said, leaning over his desk, making sure to flash killer cleavage.
"Yeah, sure. If you give me head."
My jaw hit the floor. Really. I was this [-----] close to falling out of my seat.
But as it turns out, this phenomena is becoming quite commonplace. Apparently catalysted by a senior who proposed a similar offer to a girl in my gym class, it has become a standard, now replacing the former "Ass, Gas, or Grass" mantra that used to rule the school parking lots. Now the only option is Ass.
26.5.08
You Say Goodbye
The end of the school year is approaching, signaling senior skip day, beer pong, and saying goodbye to a whole group of people that I've grown accustomed to seeing everyday. A group of guys and gals [[ok, mostly guys ;)]] who made my daily life a little bit more fun. Its going to be weird not seeing you anymore, but honestly...
I'LL GET OVER IT
Because I have more important things to worry about. "But Sway," you ask, "what could be more important than saying goodbye to your friends, and wishing them luck as they head off to college?" And to this I answer one word: FINALS.
Finals are the bane of my high school existence. One, intimidating test, to measure the span of knowledge I have accumulated over the entire year. It is a daunting thing, taking a final, and many of us try our hardest to avoid them.
So, lately, I've been pouring over my chemistry book, my math book, and trying to pull up cliffnotes on about eight different novels I was supposed to have read this year. And I've come to the realization that I absorbed next to nothing over the course of the year. Nothing.
I can't balance chemical equations
I can't solve for the third angle of a kite
I can't pontificate on the social undertones of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle"
but as I've been trying to fill my head with all the information that I've managed to ignore this past year, I've realized that I remember a lot more valuable things. I remember piling 15 people into the bed of Jimmy's pick up truck and driving around Indian Mountain Lakes. I remember trying to teach Kyle how to insult our business teacher in Norwegian, but all he managed to do was ask where the suitcases were. I remember being the object of an impromptu lunch table game of Coin Star. I remember Hug Day, and that guy in the Strange Brew who asked my to sit on his lap. I remember the playboy party up at Tommy's house. I remember getting my ass kicked by God in one sick nasty game of guitar hero. I remember falling into Canada. I remember all the amazing things we did, all the mundane things we did, and all the great times we had doing them.
So, Seniors, I guess I am going to miss you. And I really think that all of you should help me study for my finals. Yeah, you should.
I'LL GET OVER IT
Because I have more important things to worry about. "But Sway," you ask, "what could be more important than saying goodbye to your friends, and wishing them luck as they head off to college?" And to this I answer one word: FINALS.
Finals are the bane of my high school existence. One, intimidating test, to measure the span of knowledge I have accumulated over the entire year. It is a daunting thing, taking a final, and many of us try our hardest to avoid them.
So, lately, I've been pouring over my chemistry book, my math book, and trying to pull up cliffnotes on about eight different novels I was supposed to have read this year. And I've come to the realization that I absorbed next to nothing over the course of the year. Nothing.
I can't balance chemical equations
I can't solve for the third angle of a kite
I can't pontificate on the social undertones of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle"
but as I've been trying to fill my head with all the information that I've managed to ignore this past year, I've realized that I remember a lot more valuable things. I remember piling 15 people into the bed of Jimmy's pick up truck and driving around Indian Mountain Lakes. I remember trying to teach Kyle how to insult our business teacher in Norwegian, but all he managed to do was ask where the suitcases were. I remember being the object of an impromptu lunch table game of Coin Star. I remember Hug Day, and that guy in the Strange Brew who asked my to sit on his lap. I remember the playboy party up at Tommy's house. I remember getting my ass kicked by God in one sick nasty game of guitar hero. I remember falling into Canada. I remember all the amazing things we did, all the mundane things we did, and all the great times we had doing them.
So, Seniors, I guess I am going to miss you. And I really think that all of you should help me study for my finals. Yeah, you should.
3.5.08
i love you to the bones
It seems that being accepting of your own body is becoming harder and harder these days, with girls and boys being exposed to the pressures of being thin at younger ages than ever.
I've been a student of Russian Classical Ballet since I was eight. It made me consious of my body, every extra inch of it. My thin fixation started off innocently enough: taking gymnastics classes to keep in shape. Then cutting out sweets to eliminate excess poundage. By the time I started junior high, i counted calories like nobody's business and spent most of my extra time at the gym. I became detatched from my body; critically overcritical.
By freshman year, eating became grounds for punishment, and I faked sick to stay home from school and go to the gym. I felt dirty all the time, my obsession never giving way to satisfaction.
My eating disorder became a gateway to numerous other problems, such as depresssion, drugs, and self injuring. The only reason I managed to get my life back on track was therapy. And even still, I have my disordered moments, where I find myself at the gym for three hours trying to work off the apple I had for lunch.
All in all, my mantra on eating disorders can only be "do as i say and not as i do". I cannot admonish eating disorders, because it would be hypocritical at the least, nor can I condone them. I can not resign a whole generation of children to self hatred and a life of dispair in the hopes of a beautiful world. Its not the bones or the curves that makes a person beautiful. It is simply the person themselves. I implore the children of the world to be realistic, and not fall prey to the thin disease.
I've been a student of Russian Classical Ballet since I was eight. It made me consious of my body, every extra inch of it. My thin fixation started off innocently enough: taking gymnastics classes to keep in shape. Then cutting out sweets to eliminate excess poundage. By the time I started junior high, i counted calories like nobody's business and spent most of my extra time at the gym. I became detatched from my body; critically overcritical.
By freshman year, eating became grounds for punishment, and I faked sick to stay home from school and go to the gym. I felt dirty all the time, my obsession never giving way to satisfaction.
My eating disorder became a gateway to numerous other problems, such as depresssion, drugs, and self injuring. The only reason I managed to get my life back on track was therapy. And even still, I have my disordered moments, where I find myself at the gym for three hours trying to work off the apple I had for lunch.
All in all, my mantra on eating disorders can only be "do as i say and not as i do". I cannot admonish eating disorders, because it would be hypocritical at the least, nor can I condone them. I can not resign a whole generation of children to self hatred and a life of dispair in the hopes of a beautiful world. Its not the bones or the curves that makes a person beautiful. It is simply the person themselves. I implore the children of the world to be realistic, and not fall prey to the thin disease.
30.4.08
High School
So I went down to the guidence office today to get some guidence. What happened there shocked and appalled me.
I was trying to pin down my schedule for next year; finalize my independent classes, and try to weasle my way in to a weighted math class.
And I did.
However, as always, my guidence counselor asked me what I actually want to do with my life. Unsatisfied with my shoulder shrug and "...idunno...." answer, he handed me a folder.
"These are some career options that the guidence staff feels would be appropriate for you."
Yeah. ok. whatever. I took the folder, and went back to class.
When I started looking throught hte folder at lunch, I realized how little faith the school actually has in me.
What was inside? you ask. Ohhhh let me tell you.
Inside was about 15 brochures, detailing a whole bunch of jobs. Such as: Food Service Administrator: Everyone's Gotta Eat!; Cosmotoligists: Beautifying the World; Careers in the Cleaning Industry; The Exciting World Of Administrative Assistants; Are you Interested in a Career as a Dental Hygenist?; and some other such nonesense.
But the icing on the cake:
You and the Adult Entertainment Industry.
Damn.
In some twisted way I was flattered. I was also intrigued. Who makes a brochure about the adult entertainment industry?
But I had to go back down, pretend to be offended, and pretend to cry, just to make their lives a little harder.
SO I DID.
Partially because my mother would FLIP if she found out that the school thought I had a non-professional future. Because she made damn sure that when I was in grammar school, I got a GIEP [[gifted individualized education program]. She made damn sure I was in the top ten percent of my class. She made DAMN sure that I was not slacking off.
And I calmly, rationally, and slowly [so they'd understand me] told them all of that.
And the guidence counsel told me: We know you have the grades for a professional career, we just don't think you have the motivation or the capacity to be in an adult, professional, workplace. We think you'd be better off if your workplace was a little more like high school.
like my friend Solar always said, "Jackie baby, high school's never over."
I was trying to pin down my schedule for next year; finalize my independent classes, and try to weasle my way in to a weighted math class.
And I did.
However, as always, my guidence counselor asked me what I actually want to do with my life. Unsatisfied with my shoulder shrug and "...idunno...." answer, he handed me a folder.
"These are some career options that the guidence staff feels would be appropriate for you."
Yeah. ok. whatever. I took the folder, and went back to class.
When I started looking throught hte folder at lunch, I realized how little faith the school actually has in me.
What was inside? you ask. Ohhhh let me tell you.
Inside was about 15 brochures, detailing a whole bunch of jobs. Such as: Food Service Administrator: Everyone's Gotta Eat!; Cosmotoligists: Beautifying the World; Careers in the Cleaning Industry; The Exciting World Of Administrative Assistants; Are you Interested in a Career as a Dental Hygenist?; and some other such nonesense.
But the icing on the cake:
You and the Adult Entertainment Industry.
Damn.
In some twisted way I was flattered. I was also intrigued. Who makes a brochure about the adult entertainment industry?
But I had to go back down, pretend to be offended, and pretend to cry, just to make their lives a little harder.
SO I DID.
Partially because my mother would FLIP if she found out that the school thought I had a non-professional future. Because she made damn sure that when I was in grammar school, I got a GIEP [[gifted individualized education program]. She made damn sure I was in the top ten percent of my class. She made DAMN sure that I was not slacking off.
And I calmly, rationally, and slowly [so they'd understand me] told them all of that.
And the guidence counsel told me: We know you have the grades for a professional career, we just don't think you have the motivation or the capacity to be in an adult, professional, workplace. We think you'd be better off if your workplace was a little more like high school.
like my friend Solar always said, "Jackie baby, high school's never over."
29.4.08
Belief-o-matic
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Are you unsure of your religous beliefs?
Need a change?
Don't know where to turn?
TRY BELIEF NET'S
BELIEF-O-MATIC!
take our simple quiz and your religous beliefs will be broken down like so:
1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (85%)
3. Mahayana Buddhism (78%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (73%)
5. New Thought (63%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (62%)
7. Hinduism (60%)
8. Jainism (60%)
9. Scientology (58%)
10. Liberal Quakers (54%)
11. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (49%)
12. Reform Judaism (48%)
13. Secular Humanism (47%)
14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (47%)
15. Orthodox Quaker (43%)
16. Taoism (40%)
17. Sikhism (39%)
18. Bahá'í Faith (33%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (30%)
20. Nontheist (25%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (23%)
22. Jehovah's Witness (21%)
23. Islam (20%)
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (18%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (17%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (7%)
27. Roman Catholic (7%)
Results not typical. side effects include: eternal damnation, familial conflicts, religious conversions, and erectile dysfunction.
Please tell your quizmaster if you are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant.
Are you unsure of your religous beliefs?
Need a change?
Don't know where to turn?
TRY BELIEF NET'S
BELIEF-O-MATIC!
take our simple quiz and your religous beliefs will be broken down like so:
1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (85%)
3. Mahayana Buddhism (78%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (73%)
5. New Thought (63%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (62%)
7. Hinduism (60%)
8. Jainism (60%)
9. Scientology (58%)
10. Liberal Quakers (54%)
11. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (49%)
12. Reform Judaism (48%)
13. Secular Humanism (47%)
14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (47%)
15. Orthodox Quaker (43%)
16. Taoism (40%)
17. Sikhism (39%)
18. Bahá'í Faith (33%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (30%)
20. Nontheist (25%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (23%)
22. Jehovah's Witness (21%)
23. Islam (20%)
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (18%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (17%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (7%)
27. Roman Catholic (7%)
Results not typical. side effects include: eternal damnation, familial conflicts, religious conversions, and erectile dysfunction.
Please tell your quizmaster if you are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant.
PHILLY D
ok. right
so my new favorite news blog on youtube is phillip defranco.
he's pretty fricken awesome
link in the sidebar
so my new favorite news blog on youtube is phillip defranco.
he's pretty fricken awesome
link in the sidebar
Field Trip
So today my history class went to the Jewish Community Centre of the Wyoming Valley. We got there, looked at all the remember the holocaust posters, watched the remember the holocaust video, and listened to a survivor of the holocaust. We talked about the candles, the camps, and the killings, and over all I found it a profound experience.
Others didn't, but I'm not going to let that get to me.
But it did get me thinking about prejudice in the world today. Racial prejudice still influence the world. Jewish people have been persecuted for thousands of years, and have been through terrible ordeals such as the holocaust. Japanese Americans were put in internment camps. African Americans were denied basic civil liberties. Bosnia was raped and pillaged. Genocides in Darfur and Rwanda still live on.
But what makes one atrocity any more atrocious than another?
Why does the issue of slavery and civil rights so hot button today? America made reparations, instituted things such as Affirmative Action. The government has been giving handouts to the African American community for many years now.
But still, in my gym class, my black classmates try to pull that "listen-white-girl-my-family-was-enslaved-by-your-family-for-hundreds-of-years-you-better-be-scared-guilty-and-apolgetic" thing. Right. My family didn't come to America till the nineties. Well after slavery was abolished. We NEVER owned slaves. EVER.
Japanese Americans don't play the race card. How often do you hear someone say "OH, YOU JUST HATE ME CUZ I'M ASIAN." I have never heard a Jew talk about the Arians keeping them down. By moving on, and rebuilding thier lives, the Jews and Japanese were able to get past the prejudice. While there is definately still anti-Semitism, and Anti-Asian sentiment in the world todya, they don't let it affect them. They don't use it as an excuse.
Don't use race as an excuse
Others didn't, but I'm not going to let that get to me.
But it did get me thinking about prejudice in the world today. Racial prejudice still influence the world. Jewish people have been persecuted for thousands of years, and have been through terrible ordeals such as the holocaust. Japanese Americans were put in internment camps. African Americans were denied basic civil liberties. Bosnia was raped and pillaged. Genocides in Darfur and Rwanda still live on.
But what makes one atrocity any more atrocious than another?
Why does the issue of slavery and civil rights so hot button today? America made reparations, instituted things such as Affirmative Action. The government has been giving handouts to the African American community for many years now.
But still, in my gym class, my black classmates try to pull that "listen-white-girl-my-family-was-enslaved-by-your-family-for-hundreds-of-years-you-better-be-scared-guilty-and-apolgetic" thing. Right. My family didn't come to America till the nineties. Well after slavery was abolished. We NEVER owned slaves. EVER.
Japanese Americans don't play the race card. How often do you hear someone say "OH, YOU JUST HATE ME CUZ I'M ASIAN." I have never heard a Jew talk about the Arians keeping them down. By moving on, and rebuilding thier lives, the Jews and Japanese were able to get past the prejudice. While there is definately still anti-Semitism, and Anti-Asian sentiment in the world todya, they don't let it affect them. They don't use it as an excuse.
Don't use race as an excuse
26.2.08
Letter to the Editor
Seeing as how I have become increasingly disgusted with the school newspaper, I finally resolved myself to write a letter to the editor to voice my opinion about the eroding standards in the American educational system. As I leafed once again through the mistake-ridden pages of the Olympiad, I was both shocked and appalled to find that the Letter to the Editor section has been removed. This just further underlines the slow shift from a democratic society to a totalitarian government, which has finally seemed to resonate here in our school. By removing the only section where members of the huddled masses may voice their opinions and concerns, you are taking away the peoples voice. The blind faith that seems to be expected from people on a local, and national, level horrifies me. My parents raised me to be a freethinking, independent, individual, and to look beyond what is being fed to me in a spoon.
To be quite honest, the state of this newspaper is at an all-time low, and declining rapidly. The very fact that reporters cannot inform us of national news or political goings on makes that fact indisputable. By depriving us of news of substance, you are doing little more than keeping us happy idiots. The very fact that this display of hypocrisy is coming from an educational institution doubles its intensity. This paper does not do what a newspaper should: write to expose the truth. Instead, they write to conceal, or dismiss information that advisors do not feel are appropriate. The Olympiad does no favors by dismissing the world's actions with a clever, or in this case not so clever, phrase. It is indeed a sign of the times when people can masquerade as educators, and exploit their power by doing little more than reinforcing their charges ignorance.
However, it would not be good of me to lay the blame on at the doorstep of one institution. Giving misinformation to an ill informed populous is the American way. The survival of democracy rests squarely on the shoulders of a certain kind of person. As such, democracy employs the educational system to produce that certain kind of person. They strive to produce a person who possesses the knowledge, the tastes, and the character to carry on the democratic regime. To do this, certain moral standards are undoubtedly put in place for the youth, the hope, of the American people. God forbid a pupil does not fit that moral mould, or measure up to that strong democratic standard. Then, the educational system, and democracy as a whole, deems said person as an unworthy, unfit, or unsavory human being.
So, it is shown in today's world that the ideal of democracy has mutated. It is no longer a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. It is now a government of certain people, by certain people, and for certain people. From a young age we are taught to turn a blind eye to the goings on around us, and because we never rub the proverbial sand from our eyes and view the world as it truly is, we allow these certain people to remain in power, in control. The gradual shift to a totalitarian government has begun, and the naivety of the masses has allowed it.
Let me conclude this longwinded letter with one thought. Do not go gentle into that good night. Do not let the world change for the worse. Wake up, take a part in this school, in this nation, and tell the man, the institution, that we will not be robbed of our rights, our liberties, or our freedoms. If nothing else is taken from the reading of this epistle, please, reinstate the letter to the editor column. Having a voice is something that I refuse to compromise on.
To be quite honest, the state of this newspaper is at an all-time low, and declining rapidly. The very fact that reporters cannot inform us of national news or political goings on makes that fact indisputable. By depriving us of news of substance, you are doing little more than keeping us happy idiots. The very fact that this display of hypocrisy is coming from an educational institution doubles its intensity. This paper does not do what a newspaper should: write to expose the truth. Instead, they write to conceal, or dismiss information that advisors do not feel are appropriate. The Olympiad does no favors by dismissing the world's actions with a clever, or in this case not so clever, phrase. It is indeed a sign of the times when people can masquerade as educators, and exploit their power by doing little more than reinforcing their charges ignorance.
However, it would not be good of me to lay the blame on at the doorstep of one institution. Giving misinformation to an ill informed populous is the American way. The survival of democracy rests squarely on the shoulders of a certain kind of person. As such, democracy employs the educational system to produce that certain kind of person. They strive to produce a person who possesses the knowledge, the tastes, and the character to carry on the democratic regime. To do this, certain moral standards are undoubtedly put in place for the youth, the hope, of the American people. God forbid a pupil does not fit that moral mould, or measure up to that strong democratic standard. Then, the educational system, and democracy as a whole, deems said person as an unworthy, unfit, or unsavory human being.
So, it is shown in today's world that the ideal of democracy has mutated. It is no longer a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. It is now a government of certain people, by certain people, and for certain people. From a young age we are taught to turn a blind eye to the goings on around us, and because we never rub the proverbial sand from our eyes and view the world as it truly is, we allow these certain people to remain in power, in control. The gradual shift to a totalitarian government has begun, and the naivety of the masses has allowed it.
Let me conclude this longwinded letter with one thought. Do not go gentle into that good night. Do not let the world change for the worse. Wake up, take a part in this school, in this nation, and tell the man, the institution, that we will not be robbed of our rights, our liberties, or our freedoms. If nothing else is taken from the reading of this epistle, please, reinstate the letter to the editor column. Having a voice is something that I refuse to compromise on.
14.2.08
I'm a Girl Scout Dammit!!!
So, I today, while walking around Walmart, I realized something about myself. I carry way too much stuff about my person. As I browsed the aisles, searching for trash bags, I attracted many suspicious looks from the vest-clad staff. Eventually, one overzealous, pockmarked boy took to following me around the store. After becoming sufficiently creeped out, I turned around and asked him to clarify the reason why he was so fascinated with the back of my head.
"We have to, um, *mumble mumble* make sure that you aren't trying to shoplift" he said, staring firmly at his shoes.
Glancing down I realized that I was a prime suspect for shoplifting. Besides my bulky coat, and sweatshirt, I was laden down with a book bag, and an extremely large tote bag, both chock full of equally bulky items.
So, when I got home, I decided to take inventory on what exactly I needed the two bags for.
Here's the run down:
Purse:
Ipod, cell phone, bottled water, Utopia [paperback], Anna Karenina [hardback], make-up bag [containing powder, powder brush, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, blush, lipgloss, and double mirror] perfume, hairbrush, hallbook, straightening serum, lotion, 2 pens, mechanical pencil, 3 charcoal pencils, putty eraser, 18 finepoint color sharpies, a deck of playing cards, a deck of tarot cards, pack of index cards, 1/2 eaten pack of gum, 3 colors of nail polish, hip flask, lighter, cigarettes, a can of neon spray paint, a purple bandanna, guitar tuner, 3 guitar picks, nail file, pencil sharpener, peppermint oil, wallet, checkbook, sunglasses, and 6 safety pins of various sizes.
Bookbag:
Chem. book and binder, math book and binder, creative writing journal, sketchbook, siddharta, the portable oscar wilde, The only astrology book you'll ever need, 3 unused book covers, one fortune teller, pair of gym shorts, sneakers, Stats book, empty water bottle, and my knitting....
So really, what does that say about me as a person? That I'm obviously as indecisive and am over prepared? Or that I'm destined to look like a hobo bag lady the rest of my life? For as much editing as I tried to do, the only thing I managed to remove were the safety pins, the paper fortune teller, and the book covers.
"We have to, um, *mumble mumble* make sure that you aren't trying to shoplift" he said, staring firmly at his shoes.
Glancing down I realized that I was a prime suspect for shoplifting. Besides my bulky coat, and sweatshirt, I was laden down with a book bag, and an extremely large tote bag, both chock full of equally bulky items.
So, when I got home, I decided to take inventory on what exactly I needed the two bags for.
Here's the run down:
Purse:
Ipod, cell phone, bottled water, Utopia [paperback], Anna Karenina [hardback], make-up bag [containing powder, powder brush, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, blush, lipgloss, and double mirror] perfume, hairbrush, hallbook, straightening serum, lotion, 2 pens, mechanical pencil, 3 charcoal pencils, putty eraser, 18 finepoint color sharpies, a deck of playing cards, a deck of tarot cards, pack of index cards, 1/2 eaten pack of gum, 3 colors of nail polish, hip flask, lighter, cigarettes, a can of neon spray paint, a purple bandanna, guitar tuner, 3 guitar picks, nail file, pencil sharpener, peppermint oil, wallet, checkbook, sunglasses, and 6 safety pins of various sizes.
Bookbag:
Chem. book and binder, math book and binder, creative writing journal, sketchbook, siddharta, the portable oscar wilde, The only astrology book you'll ever need, 3 unused book covers, one fortune teller, pair of gym shorts, sneakers, Stats book, empty water bottle, and my knitting....
So really, what does that say about me as a person? That I'm obviously as indecisive and am over prepared? Or that I'm destined to look like a hobo bag lady the rest of my life? For as much editing as I tried to do, the only thing I managed to remove were the safety pins, the paper fortune teller, and the book covers.
22.12.07
The True Spirit of Christmas
So many people make a big fuss over the holiday season, my family included. I just can't get into the whole month of preparation and cooking and shopping for one day that has been so totally blown out of proportion.
That whole, big tree, elaborate holiday dinner, and family gatherings up the wazzoo thing isn't my deal. I would much prefer sitting around on the couch watching Miracle on 34th street with my friends, a white aluminum tree decorated with a box of the old shinybrite decorations [[the ones that my mom doesn't let us put on the tree because "the other ones we have are so beautiful, Jaclyn, we don't need to use old ones."]] sitting in the corner, telling funny holiday stories while drinking a vodka and cranberry. That's all I want out of the holidays. I want candles lit, incense burning, friends over, and Lorena McKennitt singing out of the stereo speakers. No big holiday fuss, no 6 hours of cooking on Christmas Eve Day. Just pizza and beer with friends is fine. Have a fire going. Turn the Roomba on and let it torture the dog as it chases her around the room.
Ah, how simple it all could be.
Instead, we all compete to out do each other on the holidays. Whether its putting up more lights than your neighbors to win the Home Owner's Association's Contest, or having an ostentatious meal in which the whole goal is to out do your sister-in-law who hosted Christmas last year. The competition that has become the holiday season has eroded away the true meaning of it all.
No, not Jesus. Not even family. Candy Canes. Yes. To me, a candy cane wraps up the entire holiday season quite nicely. Our family doesn't get along all too well on a normal basis, forcing us to play nice while under the extreme stress of the holidays is just asking for trouble. We're half Jewish, so the birth of Messiah thing doesn't work for us. So really, Candy Canes are the only available option.
Candy Canes are the embodiment of self-indulgence in my mind. They are a candy that are only available for purchase at Christmas time, come in almost any flavor imaginable, and come in boxes of like 50. They are the one thing that we look forward to when December rolls around: The ability to stuff our face with hard candy and not feel guilty because it's festive.
So everybody, simplify your holiday, and go buy some candy canes
That whole, big tree, elaborate holiday dinner, and family gatherings up the wazzoo thing isn't my deal. I would much prefer sitting around on the couch watching Miracle on 34th street with my friends, a white aluminum tree decorated with a box of the old shinybrite decorations [[the ones that my mom doesn't let us put on the tree because "the other ones we have are so beautiful, Jaclyn, we don't need to use old ones."]] sitting in the corner, telling funny holiday stories while drinking a vodka and cranberry. That's all I want out of the holidays. I want candles lit, incense burning, friends over, and Lorena McKennitt singing out of the stereo speakers. No big holiday fuss, no 6 hours of cooking on Christmas Eve Day. Just pizza and beer with friends is fine. Have a fire going. Turn the Roomba on and let it torture the dog as it chases her around the room.
Ah, how simple it all could be.
Instead, we all compete to out do each other on the holidays. Whether its putting up more lights than your neighbors to win the Home Owner's Association's Contest, or having an ostentatious meal in which the whole goal is to out do your sister-in-law who hosted Christmas last year. The competition that has become the holiday season has eroded away the true meaning of it all.
No, not Jesus. Not even family. Candy Canes. Yes. To me, a candy cane wraps up the entire holiday season quite nicely. Our family doesn't get along all too well on a normal basis, forcing us to play nice while under the extreme stress of the holidays is just asking for trouble. We're half Jewish, so the birth of Messiah thing doesn't work for us. So really, Candy Canes are the only available option.
Candy Canes are the embodiment of self-indulgence in my mind. They are a candy that are only available for purchase at Christmas time, come in almost any flavor imaginable, and come in boxes of like 50. They are the one thing that we look forward to when December rolls around: The ability to stuff our face with hard candy and not feel guilty because it's festive.
So everybody, simplify your holiday, and go buy some candy canes
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