i love you to the bones

It seems that being accepting of your own body is becoming harder and harder these days, with girls and boys being exposed to the pressures of being thin at younger ages than ever.

I've been a student of Russian Classical Ballet since I was eight. It made me consious of my body, every extra inch of it. My thin fixation started off innocently enough: taking gymnastics classes to keep in shape. Then cutting out sweets to eliminate excess poundage. By the time I started junior high, i counted calories like nobody's business and spent most of my extra time at the gym. I became detatched from my body; critically overcritical.

By freshman year, eating became grounds for punishment, and I faked sick to stay home from school and go to the gym. I felt dirty all the time, my obsession never giving way to satisfaction.

My eating disorder became a gateway to numerous other problems, such as depresssion, drugs, and self injuring. The only reason I managed to get my life back on track was therapy. And even still, I have my disordered moments, where I find myself at the gym for three hours trying to work off the apple I had for lunch.

All in all, my mantra on eating disorders can only be "do as i say and not as i do". I cannot admonish eating disorders, because it would be hypocritical at the least, nor can I condone them. I can not resign a whole generation of children to self hatred and a life of dispair in the hopes of a beautiful world. Its not the bones or the curves that makes a person beautiful. It is simply the person themselves. I implore the children of the world to be realistic, and not fall prey to the thin disease.