It seems that being accepting of your own body is becoming harder and harder these days, with girls and boys being exposed to the pressures of being thin at younger ages than ever.
I've been a student of Russian Classical Ballet since I was eight. It made me consious of my body, every extra inch of it. My thin fixation started off innocently enough: taking gymnastics classes to keep in shape. Then cutting out sweets to eliminate excess poundage. By the time I started junior high, i counted calories like nobody's business and spent most of my extra time at the gym. I became detatched from my body; critically overcritical.
By freshman year, eating became grounds for punishment, and I faked sick to stay home from school and go to the gym. I felt dirty all the time, my obsession never giving way to satisfaction.
My eating disorder became a gateway to numerous other problems, such as depresssion, drugs, and self injuring. The only reason I managed to get my life back on track was therapy. And even still, I have my disordered moments, where I find myself at the gym for three hours trying to work off the apple I had for lunch.
All in all, my mantra on eating disorders can only be "do as i say and not as i do". I cannot admonish eating disorders, because it would be hypocritical at the least, nor can I condone them. I can not resign a whole generation of children to self hatred and a life of dispair in the hopes of a beautiful world. Its not the bones or the curves that makes a person beautiful. It is simply the person themselves. I implore the children of the world to be realistic, and not fall prey to the thin disease.
30.4.08
High School
So I went down to the guidence office today to get some guidence. What happened there shocked and appalled me.
I was trying to pin down my schedule for next year; finalize my independent classes, and try to weasle my way in to a weighted math class.
And I did.
However, as always, my guidence counselor asked me what I actually want to do with my life. Unsatisfied with my shoulder shrug and "...idunno...." answer, he handed me a folder.
"These are some career options that the guidence staff feels would be appropriate for you."
Yeah. ok. whatever. I took the folder, and went back to class.
When I started looking throught hte folder at lunch, I realized how little faith the school actually has in me.
What was inside? you ask. Ohhhh let me tell you.
Inside was about 15 brochures, detailing a whole bunch of jobs. Such as: Food Service Administrator: Everyone's Gotta Eat!; Cosmotoligists: Beautifying the World; Careers in the Cleaning Industry; The Exciting World Of Administrative Assistants; Are you Interested in a Career as a Dental Hygenist?; and some other such nonesense.
But the icing on the cake:
You and the Adult Entertainment Industry.
Damn.
In some twisted way I was flattered. I was also intrigued. Who makes a brochure about the adult entertainment industry?
But I had to go back down, pretend to be offended, and pretend to cry, just to make their lives a little harder.
SO I DID.
Partially because my mother would FLIP if she found out that the school thought I had a non-professional future. Because she made damn sure that when I was in grammar school, I got a GIEP [[gifted individualized education program]. She made damn sure I was in the top ten percent of my class. She made DAMN sure that I was not slacking off.
And I calmly, rationally, and slowly [so they'd understand me] told them all of that.
And the guidence counsel told me: We know you have the grades for a professional career, we just don't think you have the motivation or the capacity to be in an adult, professional, workplace. We think you'd be better off if your workplace was a little more like high school.
like my friend Solar always said, "Jackie baby, high school's never over."
I was trying to pin down my schedule for next year; finalize my independent classes, and try to weasle my way in to a weighted math class.
And I did.
However, as always, my guidence counselor asked me what I actually want to do with my life. Unsatisfied with my shoulder shrug and "...idunno...." answer, he handed me a folder.
"These are some career options that the guidence staff feels would be appropriate for you."
Yeah. ok. whatever. I took the folder, and went back to class.
When I started looking throught hte folder at lunch, I realized how little faith the school actually has in me.
What was inside? you ask. Ohhhh let me tell you.
Inside was about 15 brochures, detailing a whole bunch of jobs. Such as: Food Service Administrator: Everyone's Gotta Eat!; Cosmotoligists: Beautifying the World; Careers in the Cleaning Industry; The Exciting World Of Administrative Assistants; Are you Interested in a Career as a Dental Hygenist?; and some other such nonesense.
But the icing on the cake:
You and the Adult Entertainment Industry.
Damn.
In some twisted way I was flattered. I was also intrigued. Who makes a brochure about the adult entertainment industry?
But I had to go back down, pretend to be offended, and pretend to cry, just to make their lives a little harder.
SO I DID.
Partially because my mother would FLIP if she found out that the school thought I had a non-professional future. Because she made damn sure that when I was in grammar school, I got a GIEP [[gifted individualized education program]. She made damn sure I was in the top ten percent of my class. She made DAMN sure that I was not slacking off.
And I calmly, rationally, and slowly [so they'd understand me] told them all of that.
And the guidence counsel told me: We know you have the grades for a professional career, we just don't think you have the motivation or the capacity to be in an adult, professional, workplace. We think you'd be better off if your workplace was a little more like high school.
like my friend Solar always said, "Jackie baby, high school's never over."
29.4.08
Belief-o-matic
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Are you unsure of your religous beliefs?
Need a change?
Don't know where to turn?
TRY BELIEF NET'S
BELIEF-O-MATIC!
take our simple quiz and your religous beliefs will be broken down like so:
1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (85%)
3. Mahayana Buddhism (78%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (73%)
5. New Thought (63%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (62%)
7. Hinduism (60%)
8. Jainism (60%)
9. Scientology (58%)
10. Liberal Quakers (54%)
11. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (49%)
12. Reform Judaism (48%)
13. Secular Humanism (47%)
14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (47%)
15. Orthodox Quaker (43%)
16. Taoism (40%)
17. Sikhism (39%)
18. Bahá'í Faith (33%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (30%)
20. Nontheist (25%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (23%)
22. Jehovah's Witness (21%)
23. Islam (20%)
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (18%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (17%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (7%)
27. Roman Catholic (7%)
Results not typical. side effects include: eternal damnation, familial conflicts, religious conversions, and erectile dysfunction.
Please tell your quizmaster if you are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant.
Are you unsure of your religous beliefs?
Need a change?
Don't know where to turn?
TRY BELIEF NET'S
BELIEF-O-MATIC!
take our simple quiz and your religous beliefs will be broken down like so:
1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (85%)
3. Mahayana Buddhism (78%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (73%)
5. New Thought (63%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (62%)
7. Hinduism (60%)
8. Jainism (60%)
9. Scientology (58%)
10. Liberal Quakers (54%)
11. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (49%)
12. Reform Judaism (48%)
13. Secular Humanism (47%)
14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (47%)
15. Orthodox Quaker (43%)
16. Taoism (40%)
17. Sikhism (39%)
18. Bahá'í Faith (33%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (30%)
20. Nontheist (25%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (23%)
22. Jehovah's Witness (21%)
23. Islam (20%)
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (18%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (17%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (7%)
27. Roman Catholic (7%)
Results not typical. side effects include: eternal damnation, familial conflicts, religious conversions, and erectile dysfunction.
Please tell your quizmaster if you are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant.
PHILLY D
ok. right
so my new favorite news blog on youtube is phillip defranco.
he's pretty fricken awesome
link in the sidebar
so my new favorite news blog on youtube is phillip defranco.
he's pretty fricken awesome
link in the sidebar
Field Trip
So today my history class went to the Jewish Community Centre of the Wyoming Valley. We got there, looked at all the remember the holocaust posters, watched the remember the holocaust video, and listened to a survivor of the holocaust. We talked about the candles, the camps, and the killings, and over all I found it a profound experience.
Others didn't, but I'm not going to let that get to me.
But it did get me thinking about prejudice in the world today. Racial prejudice still influence the world. Jewish people have been persecuted for thousands of years, and have been through terrible ordeals such as the holocaust. Japanese Americans were put in internment camps. African Americans were denied basic civil liberties. Bosnia was raped and pillaged. Genocides in Darfur and Rwanda still live on.
But what makes one atrocity any more atrocious than another?
Why does the issue of slavery and civil rights so hot button today? America made reparations, instituted things such as Affirmative Action. The government has been giving handouts to the African American community for many years now.
But still, in my gym class, my black classmates try to pull that "listen-white-girl-my-family-was-enslaved-by-your-family-for-hundreds-of-years-you-better-be-scared-guilty-and-apolgetic" thing. Right. My family didn't come to America till the nineties. Well after slavery was abolished. We NEVER owned slaves. EVER.
Japanese Americans don't play the race card. How often do you hear someone say "OH, YOU JUST HATE ME CUZ I'M ASIAN." I have never heard a Jew talk about the Arians keeping them down. By moving on, and rebuilding thier lives, the Jews and Japanese were able to get past the prejudice. While there is definately still anti-Semitism, and Anti-Asian sentiment in the world todya, they don't let it affect them. They don't use it as an excuse.
Don't use race as an excuse
Others didn't, but I'm not going to let that get to me.
But it did get me thinking about prejudice in the world today. Racial prejudice still influence the world. Jewish people have been persecuted for thousands of years, and have been through terrible ordeals such as the holocaust. Japanese Americans were put in internment camps. African Americans were denied basic civil liberties. Bosnia was raped and pillaged. Genocides in Darfur and Rwanda still live on.
But what makes one atrocity any more atrocious than another?
Why does the issue of slavery and civil rights so hot button today? America made reparations, instituted things such as Affirmative Action. The government has been giving handouts to the African American community for many years now.
But still, in my gym class, my black classmates try to pull that "listen-white-girl-my-family-was-enslaved-by-your-family-for-hundreds-of-years-you-better-be-scared-guilty-and-apolgetic" thing. Right. My family didn't come to America till the nineties. Well after slavery was abolished. We NEVER owned slaves. EVER.
Japanese Americans don't play the race card. How often do you hear someone say "OH, YOU JUST HATE ME CUZ I'M ASIAN." I have never heard a Jew talk about the Arians keeping them down. By moving on, and rebuilding thier lives, the Jews and Japanese were able to get past the prejudice. While there is definately still anti-Semitism, and Anti-Asian sentiment in the world todya, they don't let it affect them. They don't use it as an excuse.
Don't use race as an excuse
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